mordiin:

maxwellpuckett:

i guess this is supposed to look like piles of gold but tbh it looks like piles and piles of cheeto dust

That’s more valuable than gold.

im-flyer-than-peter-pan:

8yearoldslut:

me arriving at the gates of hell

OMG. CAN NOT BREATHE

buttholeos:

i was checking out at target and this guy was being really flirty with me and his nametag said rosemarie so when i left i said “have a good night rosemarie” and he said “rosemarie??” and i pointed to his nametag and he said fuck very loud then said “they are always fucking doing this to me”

131,915 notes
  • Me: oh thats cute
  • *checks price tag*
  • Me: no its not
125,445 notes

xenitaph:

They will never find the bodies here.

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

lancet:

ever do something then realize it’s not funny at all?